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Other People’s Feedback and Criticism Say More About Their Values, Beliefs, and Perceptions Than It Does About You

Other People's Feedback and Criticism Say More About Their Values, Beliefs, and Perceptions Than It Does About You 1
Receiving feedback or criticism from others can feel challenging and uncomfortable. ⁣

Whether it’s coming from our lover, parent, boss, friend, or kid, it’s natural to feel vulnerable or even self-protective when we feel like our character or way of being is being judged. ⁣

Receiving unsolicited feedback and criticism from others can feel even more challenging, especially if we aren’t expecting it. ⁣

We are much more liable to internalize a perspective from someone closest to us because we tend to value their opinion more. ⁣

I’m sure you can think of a time when you weren’t sure about something, and you asked for your friend or family member’s feedback. ⁣

Perhaps you were looking for support or reassurance, but instead, you felt judged and like the point of what you were trying to share was totally missed. ⁣

This scenario is all too common in relationships and can not only feel hurtful, but cause conflict and communication breakdowns. ⁣

This is where it can be profoundly helpful to realize that other people’s feedback and criticism say more about who they are and what they value/believe than it does about us. ⁣

Recognizing that feedback and criticism translate purely as someone else’s opinion and perspective creates space for us not to internalize it and take it on as our own automatically.⁣

This lens of awareness also empowers us to not allow external judgments or feedback to influence us to the point that we negate what feels true for us and the trajectory of our authentic path. ⁣
 
𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗺, 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻:⁣⁣
  1. Take a moment to pause and notice how it feels in our bodies.⁣
  2. See if we can identify any specific emotions that arise in response to what we are receiving.⁣
  3. Discern what feels true for us and what may not resonate.⁣
  4. Share the impact that receiving feedback, judgment, or criticism had on us.⁣
  5. Make clear requests or create defined boundaries around what we are open and available to receive and what we aren’t, and the particular ways it would be most nourishing for us to receive reflections from others.
Photo by: Sophia Billikop

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